look at the stars, look how they shine for you
by JacksonFrost
Summary: Because she's broken, anyone can see that, and one night of guard duty shouldn't fix that, but Seamus can't help but try. SL.


**Author's Note: **This is for Round Three of "The Challenge That Must Not Be Named." The prompt was an all-nighter. Sorry that Seamus was accent-less, but if I attempted to write an Irish accent, it would just be bad. So I decided to spare everyone! Title belongs to the ever-amazing Coldplay :)

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**look at the stars, look how they shine for you**

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Seamus watches her sometimes. He watches her when she's deep in conversation with Parvati, her laughter (becoming rarer and rarer) warm and infectious until Seamus is biting back a goofy grin. He watches her when she's bent over the bed of an injured first year, her blonde hair thrown back in a messy bun and her face lined with worry and fear, and Seamus thinks she's beautiful. He watches her when she's dancing around the Room of Requirement, shooting spells at Ginny, laughing and shouting out cruel taunts directed towards imaginary Death Eaters and Carrows, and Seamus is so distracted that little Colin Creevey manages to hex him.

And he watches her when she's writhing on the floor, screaming, as the Carrows laugh, and Seamus clenches his fists and vows revenge.

Neville laughs at him, and tells him just to ask her already, that when they're living at Death's doorstep, there's no time to waste. And Seamus, the fierce, laughing Irishman who has always considered himself quite the lady's man, shakes his head and blushes and says that Neville's got it all wrong, they're just friends.

But ever since he became the unofficial leader of the DA, Neville's not as easy to trick anymore.

--

"Lavender, you're on guard duty tonight with Finnigan," Neville orders and gives Seamus a sly smirk.

Seamus wants to throttle Neville. "I can do it myself. Lav, you look tired."

Lavender gives him a scathing look. "I'm perfectly capable, thanks."

"Didn't mean you _weren't_," Seamus mutters, blushing.

Neville claps his hands loudly, and orders everyone else to bed. They trudge up to their hammocks in the lofts on each side of the room, and Neville raises his eyebrows at Seamus. "I'll put a silencing charm on the entrance to each of the lofts. That way you can talk and er, do whatever without waking the rest of us up." He smirks again, and turns to the boy's loft.

Seamus throws a discarded sock at Neville's retreating back. Lavender raises her eyebrow at Seamus. "I'm not sure what _you_ have in mind, but I'll have to disappoint you, Finnigan."

Seamus struggles for a witty comeback, but ends up gaping at her.

"You look like a fish," Lavender points out. "Pull yourself together."

"Bloody attractive fish though," Seamus argues, smirking. "I know it's turning you on."

"You're an idiot," Lavender says flatly.

"See you lost your sense of humor this year," Seamus says sullenly.

Lavender looks as if she is going to say something, and Seamus can see a faint spark in her eyes, and grins, waiting (Lavender always had the best comebacks). But she deflates and pain clouds her eyes and she turns away. "We're in a war, Seamus." She shakes her head when he tries to speak, and curls up in a chair, and Seamus can't watch her this time because it hurts too much.

--

Minutes drag on until it seems like hours have passed, and Seamus has lost track of time, but he can't take the silence anymore. He walks over to her and taps her on the shoulder. "I grew up in Belfast," he says bluntly, his accent thickening. "I reckon you heard what it's like there. Me own da got knifed to death by a bloody unionist. I know about war, Lav."

"I-I know you do," Lavender whispers.

Seamus shakes his head. "And if you can't laugh, you'll go crazy."

Lavender takes a shuddery breath. "I'm just _scared_, Seamus. Scared and tired. And I can't- it's just too much effort to be what I used to be before all this started. I used to care about ribbons and boys and gossip and now I care about healing spells and who's on guard duty and exactly how far I can push the Carrows without getting seriously hurt. And I'm _tired_ of it all."

Seamus sits down on the edge of the chair and wraps Lavender into his arms. "I know."

"I don't know how you can stay the same person you were," Lavender says tiredly. "I don't even remember what I used to be like."

"Vibrant," Seamus says decisively. "That's the word. You were the most vibrant girl I knew. Full of life."

A ghost of a smile flitters over Lavender's face. "Not Ginny Weasley?"

Seamus snorts. "Ginny could be a right pill at times. Still can, if we're being honest."

Lavender giggles, and then instantly sobers. "And what am I like now?"

"You're still the most amazing girl I know," Seamus says honestly, and Lavender grins. "You're just more beaten down now. Tired and scared, like you said."

"Sorry," Lavender whispers.

"Don't be stupid," Seamus snaps. "It's not your fault. But y'know, no matter what actually happens, if you lose your spirit, the Carrows win."

Lavender thinks for a moment, and then nods, and there's so much more fire in her eyes than there was before that it almost takes Seamus' breath away. "You're right."

"Took you long enough to realize that," he teases, and Lavender laughs as she settles into Seamus' arms.

--

They lie awake like that, intertwined in each other's arms, each hoping that this strange time when they're bathed in dusky rose light and flickering shadows and an atmosphere of peace and comfort and happiness. They hope it goes on forever, that the Carrows don't storm in and the sun doesn't rise, because there's no fear, there's no worry in this strange sense of limbo.

Because maybe it's selfish, but Lavender has never felt so happy in Merlin-knows-how-long, and she doesn't want this feeling to go away.

And Seamus has waited forever for a night like this.

--

Lavender turns her head towards Seamus and grins sleepily. "I'm getting tired," she says, yawning. "Don't let me fall asleep."

An idea occurs to Seamus, and he gulps back a wave of anxiety and nerves, and leans forward. His lips find Lavender's in the darkness, and it's tenderness and sparks and sweetness and passion all at once.

Lavender pulls back slightly and Seamus can see the flash of her teeth in the dark as she smiles. "Which Lavender are you kissing?" she murmurs. "The one I used to be, or the one I am now?"

Seamus traces the faint scar on her chin with his thumb. "How can I choose when I love both?"

Lavender's eyes shine. "Perfect answer," she breathes, before leaning forward and meeting Seamus half-way.

--

They kiss and they talk and they share secrets they never would have dared in the harsh daylight of reality.

Lavender paints a picture of runways in Milan and Paris and Seamus builds a life of Curse-breaking and adventure.

She talks about how much it hurt when Ron dumped her, and he tells stories of growing up in turmoil and violence.

They confess their fears to each other in the waning light of the moon: fear of death, fear of pain, fear of being alone, all their friends and family casualties of the War.

And Seamus takes these jagged pieces that this beautifully broken girl has offered him, and starts to make her whole again.

--

And before they know it, Neville is stumbling downstairs, rubbing his eyes and telling them that they can go grab a couple hours of sleep, and he'll take it from here.

Lavender and Seamus exchange a look and suddenly Lavender grabs Seamus' hand. "I don't want to go back to being scared and tired and worried quite yet."

Neville's surprise morphs into smugness, which he directs pointedly at Seamus, and Seamus grins. "Then don't. The night's not over yet."

--

And then they're stepping out of the Room of Requirement and muffling giggles and tip-toeing over to the Astronomy Tower.

"We can see the sunrise," Lavender squeals, tugging on Seamus' hand as she looks over the railing at the emerging sun on the horizon.

"That's the plan," Seamus grins. "Should only be a bit longer." Lavender smiles, a bit sadly, and Seamus looks at her. "In the morning, it doesn't have to go back to how it was. We can-"

"Shh," Lavender breathes, squeezing his hand. "Let's just…not worry about the morning right now. It's still nighttime for a few more minutes."

"Okay," Seamus says, stroking Lavender's hair. "Okay. But Lav?"

"Hmm?" Lavender murmurs absently, tracing patterns on his chest.

"I love you," Seamus promises. "It doesn't matter which Lavender you are, either, I love you no matter who you are."

Lavender's eyes fill with tears, and she pulls Seamus towards her, kissing him with desperation and love and desire. They kiss and kiss in the last shreds of the night, clinging to the magical beauty that it brings, before the swirls of orange and red and pink overtake the sky and put them in the light of a new day.


End file.
